Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Opening day for the Minnesota Twins is finally upon us! The Twins and Toronto Blue Jays are the final two remaining teams yet to debut in 2006, but the season begins in a few minutes for these two teams.

The Twins enter the game with a revamped lineup hoping to inject a little offensive punch where none existed in 2005. Leading off tonight and playing left field is Shannon Stewart, followed by Luis Castillo at second base, Joe Mauer catching, and the designated hitter Rondell White hitting cleanup. White is followed by center fielder Torii Hunter and first baseman Justin Morneau. The bottom third of the lineup tonight for Minnesota consists of third baseman Tony Batista, right fielder Jason Kubel, and shortstop Juan Castro.

Only four of those nine (Stewart, Mauer, Morneau, and Hunter) were in the starting lineup when the Twins lost last year's opener against the Seattle Mariners 5-1. Last year's opening day shortstop Jason Bartlett was sent to Triple-A Rochester at the end of spring training, replaced tonight by Castro. Last year's right fielder Jacque Jones is now with the Chicago Cubs, while last year's designated hitter Lew Ford and third baseman Michael Cuddyer start on the bench. Luis Rivas is apparently without a team.

Taking over as the opening day starter for the Twins in 2006 is 2004 American League Cy Young winner Johan Santana. He will be dueling this evening with 2003 AL Cy Young winner Roy Halladay.

The game starts shortly....

UPDATE: And Shannon Stewart opens the season by singling to left on a 1-0 pitch from Halladay.

UPDATE: Luis Castillo moved Stewart to second on a sacrifice bunt down the third baseline, and then Joe Mauer reached base and moved Stewart to third on an error by first baseman Lyle Overbay. Rondell White's deep fly to center was caught at the wall by Vernon Wells, but it was more than deep enough to allow Stewart to tag-up and score. Halladay got out of the inning by getting Hunter to groundout to second. Twins lead 1-0.

UPDATE: Alex Rios hit a one-out single to center, but Wells popped out to Castillo and Santana struck out Troy Glaus to get out of the inning. At the end of the first, Twins lead 1-0. Due up are Morneau, Batista, and Kubel.

UPDATE: The Twins go down in order on three groundouts in the second. Overbay, Hillenbrand, and Molina due up for Toronto to face Santana.

UPDATE: Toronto also goes down 1-2-3 on a strikeout and two groundouts. At the end of two, Minnesota leads 1-0. Castro, Stewart, and Castillo are due up for Minnesota in the third.

UPDATE: Castro singled to center on the first pitch from Halladay, but Stewart hit into a 6-4-3 double play and Castillo struck out to end the top half of the third. Hill, Adams, and Johnson are due up for Toronto in the home half of the third.

UPDATE: The Blue Jays threatened in the third. After Hill flied out to right, Adams walked and Johnson singled to left. Alex Rios flied out to Hunter in deep right-center, allowing Adams to tag up and move to third, but Santana escaped by striking out Wells for the third out. Blue Jays stranded two, and Minnesota still leads at the end of three 1-0. Santana's strikeout total stands at three. Due up for Minnesota in the fourth are Mauer, White, and Hunter.

UPDATE: Mauer reached again on a two-base throwing error by Russ Adams, but groundouts by White and Hunter and a strikeout by Morneau stranded him at second. Glaus, Overbay, and Hillenbrand due up for the Jays in the fourth.

UPDATE: Toronto finally got to Santana in the fourth. Glaus led off with a double to right, moved to third on a single by Overbay, and scored on a sac fly to right by Hillenbrand. Molina followed that with a deep two-run homer to left to take a 3-1 lead. Hill grounded out 1-3, and Adams reached on an error by Castillo, but should have been out when he took a step toward second and Morneau alertly tagged him out. Ump was having none of it. Douche bag. Stewie got Santana out of the inning with a fabulous catch at the wall right in front of the 375 sign. Jays lead 3-1. Batista, Castro, and Kubel due up for Minnesota in the fifth.

UPDATE: Only took seven pitches for Halladay to retire the Twins in the fifth. Doc is locked in at this point, and the Twins don't appear to stand a chance unless Halladay gets pulled.

UPDATE: Wells singled, but Toronto was held scoreless, and still leads 3-1 at the end of five.

UPDATE: Well, the umps have now officially turned against the Twins. After the first base ump fucked up a call in fourth, home plate ump rung up Castillo and White on dubious called third strikes that were both nowhere near the strike zone. As if Halladay's pitching weren't tough enough, now the Twins have to deal with biased umps as well. Still 3-1 Toronto entering the bottom of the sixth.

UPDATE: Santana looked good through the first three innings, but fell apart after that. The umps gave one back to the Twins by incorrectly calling Aaron Hill out as the second part of a 5-4-3 double play, but Russ Adams drove Shea Hillenbrand home on the next at-bat, and Reed Johnson chased him with a single to left. Juan Rincon is now in for Santana.

UPDATE: Rincon gave up a single to Rios, but struck out Wells with the bases loaded to get out of the inning. Toronto leads at the end of six 4-1. With that, the book is now closed on Johan Santana in his first ever opening day start - one which he will certainly hope to forget. He pitched 5-2/3 innings, giving up four runs (all earned) on ten hits, with one walk and three strikeouts. Hunter, Morneau, and Batista bat for the Twins in the seventh.

UPDATE: Well, it's not over just yet. Hunter flied out, and Morneau and Kubel grounded out, but Batista hit a home run to left to cut Toronto's lead to 4-2 at the seventh inning stretch.

UPDATE: Rincon was aiming for a quick 1-2-3 seventh, but Hillenbrand spoiled that with a single to right. Instead he had to retire the fourth batter, Molina, on a 4-3 ground out to end the inning. At the end of seven, Jays lead 4-2.

UPDATE: Stewie pulled the Twins one more back in the eighth. After Lew grounded out pinch hitting for Castro, Stewie homered to left. Castillo then grounded out and Halladay was pulled in favor of Schoeneweis to face Mauer, who also grounded out. Jays still lead 4-3. Punto replaced Lew defensively at short, while Jesse Crain takes over for Rincon on the mound.

UPDATE: You can pretty much count the Twins out now. Crain retired the first two batters he faced, but then Reed Johnson singled and Alex Rios homered to right. He got Vernon Wells to fly out to center, but the damage had already been done. Blue Jays lead 6-3 at the end of the eighth, and closer BJ Ryan is on his way in to close out the ballgame. He'll face Rondell White, Torii Hunter, and Justin Morneau.

UPDATE: White lined out to Glaus, while Hunter and Morneau each struck out. Blue Jays win 6-3. Roy Halladay (1-0) gets the win, while Johan Santana (0-1) takes the loss. BJ Ryan gets the save, his first as a Blue Jay.

The Minnesota Twins were as pathetic offensively as they were last season, despite bringing in five new starters. Hell, they were probably worse. Shannon Stewart was the only Twins player that actually earned his paycheck today. Batters two through six (Castillo, Mauer, White, Hunter, and Morneau) were a combined 0-for-18 with six strikeouts. They also left eight men on base. Stewart, on the other hand, had three of the team's five hits and scored two of their three runs. I know it was only one game, but I've already seen enough to lose most of the excitement I had in anticipation of the season. If this is going to be any indication of the team's offensive prowess in '06, then the other 161 games might be even more excruciating to watch than this first one.