Okay, let's be honest - the Minnesota Twins are not going to get a stadium approved in 2006. "But Kris," you say, "both the Minnesota House and Senate have passed versions of a bill to approve a stadium for the Twins." Ah, but that's where you're wrong. The House passed a bill which could have been worth it, but once again, those ass-clowns in the Minnesota Senate have fucked the Twins.

You see, the House bill would have financed an open-air ballpark in downtown Minneapolis for the Twins utilizing a combination of private funding by the team and a sales tax in Hennepin County. Oh, and it wouldn't have required a referendum. The Senate bill, on the other hand, includes funding for transportation and new stadiums with retractable roofs for both the Twins and the Vikings. The stadiums would be financed through a combination of private funding by the teams and a sales tax in the seven-county metro area, requiring a November referendum. There are so many problems with the Senate bill that I don't even know where to begin.

First of all, the Vikings don't need a new stadium. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the Metrodome as a venue for football. The Metrodome was built less than twenty-five years ago specifically for the Vikings, and there's no reason why they should be given a new stadium. To compound this problem, the idea of a football stadium with a retractable roof is perhaps the most idiotic idea I've heard in my entire life (and I've heard some real whoppers thanks to the many stoners I've had the opportunity to meet). Plus, the Vikings want to build out in the 'burbs, where poor city folk won't be able to attend games. Fuck the Minnesota Vikings and fuck the Minnesota Senate.

Then there is the issue of the retractable roof on a stadium for the Twins. Sure, that would be a nice luxury, but to be entirely honest, it's not necessary. I would hate to see a stadium bill for the Twins get rejected because too many people deem the added cost of a retractable roof an unnecessary luxury.

And finally, no stadium bill, whether it be the House version or the Senate version, is going to pass a public referendum. I guarantee that if legislators put either bill to the people in November, it's going to get rejected, and we'll be right back to square one. I'm so sick of pussy-ass city councils and state legislatures putting everything to referendums. Look, I didn't vote your ass into office so you could turn around and force me to make all the decisions. I have other shit to do with my life. I elect YOU to study the options, weigh the pro's and con's, and make decisions that are in my best interest. If I think you're making decisions that are in my best interest, then I will re-elect. If I think you're not, then I'll help vote you out at the next election. In the mean time, grow some balls and start making some decisions on your own rather than forcing me to vote on it in a referendum. WE LIVE IN A REPUBLIC, NOT A DEMOCRACY.

» Senate passes bill to finance ballpark [twinsbaseball.com]

After last night's pathetic offensive effort on the part of the Minnesota Twins, they looked much better tonight. Granted, Josh Towers is no Roy Halladay, but that doesn't change the fact that they put good wood on the ball tonight.

The game started in typical Brad Radke fashion. Radke gave up back-to-back home runs in the first inning tonight to Troy Glaus (two-run homer) and Lyle Overbay, and later another RBI single to Glaus in the third. After falling behind 4-0 early, the Twins scored 13 unanswered runs to win 13-4. They didn't show much offensively tonight the first time through the order, but starting the second time through the lineup, they started to put the bat on the ball, and when you combine that with some absolutely horrible defense by the Blue Jays, that lead to four Minnesota runs in the fourth inning to tie the game. Shannon Stewart hit his second home run in as many days in the fifth inning, Torii Hunter blew the game wide open with a grand slam in the eighth, and Luis "Li'l Rod" Rodriguez hit an opposite-field pinch-hit home run in the ninth. They also got three runs in the seventh off a couple of a hits, some bad throws, and a wild pitch. Brad Radke (1-0) picks up his first win of the season, while Josh Towers (0-1) takes the loss.

So, the Twins and Blue Jays play the rubber match at the Rogers Centre tomorrow at 6:07pm CDT. Carlos Silva makes his first start of the season for the Twins against Gustavo Chacin for the Jays.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Opening day for the Minnesota Twins is finally upon us! The Twins and Toronto Blue Jays are the final two remaining teams yet to debut in 2006, but the season begins in a few minutes for these two teams.

The Twins enter the game with a revamped lineup hoping to inject a little offensive punch where none existed in 2005. Leading off tonight and playing left field is Shannon Stewart, followed by Luis Castillo at second base, Joe Mauer catching, and the designated hitter Rondell White hitting cleanup. White is followed by center fielder Torii Hunter and first baseman Justin Morneau. The bottom third of the lineup tonight for Minnesota consists of third baseman Tony Batista, right fielder Jason Kubel, and shortstop Juan Castro.

Only four of those nine (Stewart, Mauer, Morneau, and Hunter) were in the starting lineup when the Twins lost last year's opener against the Seattle Mariners 5-1. Last year's opening day shortstop Jason Bartlett was sent to Triple-A Rochester at the end of spring training, replaced tonight by Castro. Last year's right fielder Jacque Jones is now with the Chicago Cubs, while last year's designated hitter Lew Ford and third baseman Michael Cuddyer start on the bench. Luis Rivas is apparently without a team.

Taking over as the opening day starter for the Twins in 2006 is 2004 American League Cy Young winner Johan Santana. He will be dueling this evening with 2003 AL Cy Young winner Roy Halladay.

The game starts shortly....

UPDATE: And Shannon Stewart opens the season by singling to left on a 1-0 pitch from Halladay.

UPDATE: Luis Castillo moved Stewart to second on a sacrifice bunt down the third baseline, and then Joe Mauer reached base and moved Stewart to third on an error by first baseman Lyle Overbay. Rondell White's deep fly to center was caught at the wall by Vernon Wells, but it was more than deep enough to allow Stewart to tag-up and score. Halladay got out of the inning by getting Hunter to groundout to second. Twins lead 1-0.

UPDATE: Alex Rios hit a one-out single to center, but Wells popped out to Castillo and Santana struck out Troy Glaus to get out of the inning. At the end of the first, Twins lead 1-0. Due up are Morneau, Batista, and Kubel.

UPDATE: The Twins go down in order on three groundouts in the second. Overbay, Hillenbrand, and Molina due up for Toronto to face Santana.

UPDATE: Toronto also goes down 1-2-3 on a strikeout and two groundouts. At the end of two, Minnesota leads 1-0. Castro, Stewart, and Castillo are due up for Minnesota in the third.

UPDATE: Castro singled to center on the first pitch from Halladay, but Stewart hit into a 6-4-3 double play and Castillo struck out to end the top half of the third. Hill, Adams, and Johnson are due up for Toronto in the home half of the third.

UPDATE: The Blue Jays threatened in the third. After Hill flied out to right, Adams walked and Johnson singled to left. Alex Rios flied out to Hunter in deep right-center, allowing Adams to tag up and move to third, but Santana escaped by striking out Wells for the third out. Blue Jays stranded two, and Minnesota still leads at the end of three 1-0. Santana's strikeout total stands at three. Due up for Minnesota in the fourth are Mauer, White, and Hunter.

UPDATE: Mauer reached again on a two-base throwing error by Russ Adams, but groundouts by White and Hunter and a strikeout by Morneau stranded him at second. Glaus, Overbay, and Hillenbrand due up for the Jays in the fourth.

UPDATE: Toronto finally got to Santana in the fourth. Glaus led off with a double to right, moved to third on a single by Overbay, and scored on a sac fly to right by Hillenbrand. Molina followed that with a deep two-run homer to left to take a 3-1 lead. Hill grounded out 1-3, and Adams reached on an error by Castillo, but should have been out when he took a step toward second and Morneau alertly tagged him out. Ump was having none of it. Douche bag. Stewie got Santana out of the inning with a fabulous catch at the wall right in front of the 375 sign. Jays lead 3-1. Batista, Castro, and Kubel due up for Minnesota in the fifth.

UPDATE: Only took seven pitches for Halladay to retire the Twins in the fifth. Doc is locked in at this point, and the Twins don't appear to stand a chance unless Halladay gets pulled.

UPDATE: Wells singled, but Toronto was held scoreless, and still leads 3-1 at the end of five.

UPDATE: Well, the umps have now officially turned against the Twins. After the first base ump fucked up a call in fourth, home plate ump rung up Castillo and White on dubious called third strikes that were both nowhere near the strike zone. As if Halladay's pitching weren't tough enough, now the Twins have to deal with biased umps as well. Still 3-1 Toronto entering the bottom of the sixth.

UPDATE: Santana looked good through the first three innings, but fell apart after that. The umps gave one back to the Twins by incorrectly calling Aaron Hill out as the second part of a 5-4-3 double play, but Russ Adams drove Shea Hillenbrand home on the next at-bat, and Reed Johnson chased him with a single to left. Juan Rincon is now in for Santana.

UPDATE: Rincon gave up a single to Rios, but struck out Wells with the bases loaded to get out of the inning. Toronto leads at the end of six 4-1. With that, the book is now closed on Johan Santana in his first ever opening day start - one which he will certainly hope to forget. He pitched 5-2/3 innings, giving up four runs (all earned) on ten hits, with one walk and three strikeouts. Hunter, Morneau, and Batista bat for the Twins in the seventh.

UPDATE: Well, it's not over just yet. Hunter flied out, and Morneau and Kubel grounded out, but Batista hit a home run to left to cut Toronto's lead to 4-2 at the seventh inning stretch.

UPDATE: Rincon was aiming for a quick 1-2-3 seventh, but Hillenbrand spoiled that with a single to right. Instead he had to retire the fourth batter, Molina, on a 4-3 ground out to end the inning. At the end of seven, Jays lead 4-2.

UPDATE: Stewie pulled the Twins one more back in the eighth. After Lew grounded out pinch hitting for Castro, Stewie homered to left. Castillo then grounded out and Halladay was pulled in favor of Schoeneweis to face Mauer, who also grounded out. Jays still lead 4-3. Punto replaced Lew defensively at short, while Jesse Crain takes over for Rincon on the mound.

UPDATE: You can pretty much count the Twins out now. Crain retired the first two batters he faced, but then Reed Johnson singled and Alex Rios homered to right. He got Vernon Wells to fly out to center, but the damage had already been done. Blue Jays lead 6-3 at the end of the eighth, and closer BJ Ryan is on his way in to close out the ballgame. He'll face Rondell White, Torii Hunter, and Justin Morneau.

UPDATE: White lined out to Glaus, while Hunter and Morneau each struck out. Blue Jays win 6-3. Roy Halladay (1-0) gets the win, while Johan Santana (0-1) takes the loss. BJ Ryan gets the save, his first as a Blue Jay.

The Minnesota Twins were as pathetic offensively as they were last season, despite bringing in five new starters. Hell, they were probably worse. Shannon Stewart was the only Twins player that actually earned his paycheck today. Batters two through six (Castillo, Mauer, White, Hunter, and Morneau) were a combined 0-for-18 with six strikeouts. They also left eight men on base. Stewart, on the other hand, had three of the team's five hits and scored two of their three runs. I know it was only one game, but I've already seen enough to lose most of the excitement I had in anticipation of the season. If this is going to be any indication of the team's offensive prowess in '06, then the other 161 games might be even more excruciating to watch than this first one.

It seems that every baseball "expert" spent the last six months writing the obituary for the homerun (and, by extention, offense) in baseball. Offense is dead? My ass!

Between last night and the games played so far today, all of these players have hit homeruns: Hank Blalock, Pat Burrell, Jeff Conine, Adam Dunn, Jonny Gomes, Vladimir Guerrero, Carlos Guillen, JJ Hardy, Scott Hatteberg, Ryan Howard, Kenji Johjima, Andruw Jones, Ryan Langerhans, Adam LaRoche, Carlos Lee, Travis Lee, Mike Lowell, Luis Matos, Melvin Mora, Matt Murton, David Ortiz, Eduardo Perez, Albert Pujols (2), Scott Rolen, Chris Shelton (2), Miguel Tejada, Jim Thome, and David Wright. That, my friends, is 30 homeruns, and there's still lots of baseball to be played yet today (including Marlins-Astros, Giants-Padres, and Yankees-A's). Sh'yeah, offense is dead, my ass.

UPDATE: In addition to the thirty listed above, later home run hitters included: Khalil Greene, Hideki Matsui, Roberto Petagine, Mike Piazza, Alex Rodriguez, and Frank Thomas. That brings the home run total between yesterday and today to 36. In addition, the teams combined in seven of the fourteen games to score double-digit runs, and six teams (White Sox, Cubs, Cardinals, Braves, Dodgers, and Yankees) scored ten or more on their own.

UPDATE (4/4): Updating this one more time, Tony Batista, Benji Molina, Alex Rios, and Shannon Stewart all homered in Tuesday's season opener between Minnesota and Toronto, bringing the total for all fifteen season-opening games to 40 home runs. Yep, the long ball is dead.

A new baseball season means, of course, a new fantasy baseball season. Our league this year fell from seven teams to only four, meaning every team is overloaded with all-stars. Our league does an autodraft instead of a live draft, and I ended up getting a few players back from last season: Victor Martinez, Alfonso Soriano, Alex Rodriguez, and Jake Peavy. My team is top-heavy with corner infielders, including: Mark Teixeira, David Wright, Carlos Delgado, Ryan Howard, Troy Glaus, Miguel Cabrera (also outfield eligible), Lance Berkman (also outfield eligible), and A-Rod. On the other hand, just like last year, I received no cover in the draft at second base or shortstop. My second baseman is Soriano (who will, of course, be outfield eligible shortly), and my shortstop is Jose Reyes. And our teams are so overloaded that I haven't even mentioned my other two outfielders yet: Manny Ramirez and Grady Sizemore. Oh, and I picked up Barry Bonds off waivers today as well, so he'll be available for me tomorrow.

As for pitchers, we're all pretty loaded there as well. In addition to the aforementioned Jake Peavy, my other starters include Rich Harden, Felix Rodriguez, Mark Buehrle, and Mark Prior. (Prior is on the DL, so it was his open spot on the roster that I utilized to snag Bonds.) I also have Brandon Webb, who is getting the start tonight for Arizona, but he gets dropped tomorrow in favor of Jason Schmidt. I'm a little worried about my closers BJ Ryan and Eric Gagne. I'm convinced that Ryan was a one-year wonder, and I'm going to get burned by him just like I did with Keith Foulke last year. As for Gagne, I'm not convinced that he's fully recovered from elbow surgery, and he could turn out to be a liability as well. I'm not too worried, since my closers sucked last year as well, and that didn't stop me from doing well in the league.

So, the season starts today. Other than the moves I already made (acquiring Bonds and Schmidt, putting Prior on the DL, and dropping Webb), I'll probably be sitting tight at the moment, because I don't want to make a mistake like last year when I dropped Chris Carpenter.

As I sit here watching ESPN2 and waiting for the 2006 Major League Baseball season to start, I am quietly optimistic about the chances for the Minnesota Twins. Unlike recent seasons, the Twins aren't expected to do much this year by the standards of conventional "experts". The vogue pick to win the AL Central is the defending World Series champion Chicago White Sox, and those passing on the White Sox are generally picking the Cleveland Indians. The result is that the pressure is off the Twins, and because of that, I like their chances. A healthy Torii Hunter, a healthy Shannon Stewart, a healthy Joe Mauer, a Justin Morneau without the ridiculous expectations heaped upon him from last year, a vastly improved and confident Kyle Lohse, no more Joe Mays... there are so many reasons to be optimistic this year, and we haven't even talked about the team's offseason additions or my guys Juan Castro and Mike Redmond.

Indians and White Sox begin shortly....

For the second consecutive year, the Minnesota Twins will enter the season playing with heavy hearts. Last year, they lost longtime PA announcer Bob Casey right before the season started. This year, Hall of Fame former Twin Kirby Puckett passed away on Monday, one day after suffering a stroke at his Arizona home.

» Twins left to mourn Puckett's death [twinsbaseball.com]
» Baseball reacts to Puckett's death [twinsbaseball.com]
» Notes: Doing what Kirby wanted [twinsbaseball.com]
» Twins try to play on through sadness [twinsbaseball.com]
» Twins PA Announcer Dies at 79 [blueflower.org]

Hall of Fame former Twins outfielder Kirby Puckett suffered a stroke Sunday morning at his home in Scottsdale, AZ. There hasn't been much in the way of updates, although he's said to be in critical condition.

» Shock, dismay at news of Puckett [twinsbaseball.com]

Word on the street is that former Red Sox and Cubs shortstop Nomar Garciaparra is set to sign with the Dodgers. With Los Angeles having already signed Rafael Furcal and Bill Mueller this offseason, it looks like Mr. Mia Hamm is going to find himself confined mostly to first base or the outfield. Of course, had he ended up with the Yankees, it probably would have been a similar scenario.

I have to admit that I'm a little surprised how active the Dodgers have been this offseason. I mean, granted, they sucked this year, but still, with the shuffling of managers and general managers and the whole bit, they've still been getting a lot done. I already mentioned Furcal and Mueller. They signed Grandpa Alomar to a one-year deal. They shipped Milton Bradley up north. They haven't been quite as busy or successful as, say, the Mets or the White Sox, but they might be a close third. I mean, if you don't count Florida selling everyone on the roster old enough to consume alcohol, the only four teams which really seem to be active at all this year are the Dodgers, White Sox, Mets, and Red Sox. Interestingly enough, three of those four are teams with a cross-town rival, and the fourth has one that might as well be. Who says the Yankees don't have an impact even when the Boss isn't splashing the cash?

» Reports: Nomar to sign with Dodgers [mlb.com]

I hear the Royals are going with extra-large jerseys this year. They're going to need them to fit "Mientkiewicz" and "Grudzielanek" on the back, as the two free agent infielders agreed today to one-year contracts with Kansas City. For Dougie, my only response is, "Say it ain't so! Please, Doug, not Kansas City!" How could you go from the ALCS with the Twins and a World Series ring with Boston to the Mets and now the Royals? Ouch.

The Royals also picked up free agent pitcher Scott Elarton. Elarton, who was 11-9 for Cleveland last year, agreed to a two-year deal with the perennial American League bottom-dwellers.

» Mientkiewicz, Grudzielanek, Elarton join Royals [Yahoo! Sports]