I got to witness my first closing-time brawl first hand tonight. The lying bastards on the side gave their version of the story, but we never really got to give ours. No, faithful readers, I never physically engaged anyone, but members of my party were involved. I'm too much of a pacifist to actually get involved if unnecessary. We because we never got to give our side, I feel free to give it here. This is how it went down:

After leaving the Y tonight, Corey and I went down to Dr. Jekyll's for a drink. While we were down there, Ben came in, and seeing us sitting there, he joined us. Although I never planned to stay that late, we ended up being there until closing time. Corey and I were parked in back as usual, but Ben was parked out front, so we uncharacteristically went out the front door. Standing out front, Ben lit up a cigarette and was going to continue the story he was telling us when a group of four (three guys and one girl) walked out. The girl walked right in front of Ben as he was exhaling and made some comment about him blowing smoke in her face. Ben, jokingly, said back to her, "Well, I could always blow it up your ass." One of the guys, who had asked us several times inside the bar if we wanted to shoot darts, was wearing a Titleist hat. Ben cracked some joke with him about it in relation to some episode of "Beavis and Butthead." Said guy then made some comment about Ben's Nine Inch Nails shirt. They then walked on heading south down College Avenue, but stopped in front of the bank next door to Jekyll's. The girl (who kept trying to play the innocent and naive party later) kept going on and on to the three guys about Ben had blown smoke in her face. One of the guys the started yelling something back about blowing smoke in the girl's face and wanting to know if we wanted to fight. All three guys started motioning our way and threatening to beat our asses. Ben didn't really say anything, but Corey and I kept trying to diffuse the situation. The next thing we knew, all four of them had walked back down by us. One of the guys (apparently his name was Nate) kept offering to let us hit him first. Titleist guy, still quite fuming, approached Ben and asked if he wanted to fight. Mr. Titleist then - unprovoked, mind you - jumped Ben. He started throwing punches and threw Ben into the front door of Jekyll's, shattering one of the glass shutters. That's when Betsy (the bartender) made a mad dash for the front door. Corey had tried to pull Mr. Titleist off of Ben, but Nate ripped Corey off and threw him to the ground on the sidewalk. By the time Betsy came out, Mr. Titleist had Ben on the ground and was punching him, while Nate had Corey pinned down. Betsy saw Ben on the ground, told him to stay down, and went back inside to grab the phone and call the police. By the time she came back out, Mr. Titleist had run away. The other three in their party, despite being friends with Mr. Titleist, vehemently denied knowing who he was. Despite being the biggest instigators of the whole fight, Nate and the girl tried to make it sound like they had no part in this fight which was complete started by Ben. When the police finally showed up, they inspected the damage to the door, got Ben's ID, and got the IDs of the three remaining from the other party. They then let Ben, Corey, and I go while they continued to interrogate the other three. We walked around back by my and Corey's cars, but Ben was upset that he hadn't gotten to give his side of the story, so he called the police department's non-emergency number. They told him that the police were still around front, and that the three of us should go back up there. Damn it, Ben! So, we walked back up there, and by then the only one left was the first police officer on the scene. He still didn't want to hear Ben's side (our mine or Corey's for that matter), but he kept going the typical police route and saying that he didn't believe that Ben was just "an innocent bystander." I suppose that by not apologizing to the girl, he wasn't entirely innocent, but there really wouldn't have been a fight had dumb bitch and her three testosterone-packed homeboys not decided to come back to jump Ben unnecessarily. The cop basically told Ben that because Mr. Titleist ran away like a little bitch-boy, and his friends refused to give his identity, little (if anything) would probably come of it. A side note is that all four in the other party play softball on a team sponsored by Jekyll's. The cop said that he even suggested to Betsy that if he were Ron (owner), he would tell the players that he will no longer sponsor them unless they give up their friend. Now that I think about it, I like Jekyll's and all, but maybe it would be in our best interest to bycott the bar until Ron makes these guys give up their friend. Hell, why buy drinks at a bar to pay for the sponsorship of a team of pussies who start fights over nothing? Corey and I figure we've probably spent somewhere in the area of $2500-$3000 a piece in that bar in the past year. Granted, I won't be around to go there much more anyway, but even so, that's a lot of business to lose to cover up the identity of a felon.

Anyway, that's the whole story (and not the made-up story given by the other three to the cop). Nighty-night all.