I somehow woke up about 8:30 even though I don't think I passed out on the couch until at least 3:30. I sat up, shook the sleepiness from my eyes, and said to myself, "Self, I think you would like an omelet today." Who am I to argue with me? There was only one slight problem: how does one go about making an omelet?

Walking in to the kitchen, I grabbed the first cookbook that I saw. I paged through to the breakfast section, and about 6 pages into that was a recipe for some bizarre omelet. Do cookbooks ever have normal food? Anyway, I discovered that all I really needed were eggs and whatever I wanted to put inside the omelet. Sweet, I think I can do this!

Oh, I forgot to mention one more thing: I can't crack an egg properly to save my life. I'm pretty good at punching a big hole in an egg or getting most of the egg on myself or getting dozens of pieces of eggshell in the eggs, but I can't really crack eggs. It was quite an adventure cracking those three eggs (people usually eat three-egg omelets, right?), but I knew the work might be worth the reward.

So, I got the eggs cracked in the bowl, I beat them, and I added just a splash of milk (I'm not sure if the splash of milk did anything, but it just sounded right). I got the skillet heating with some margarine in there while I searched the fridge for something to put in my omelet. The choices pretty much consisted of ketchup, more eggs, ranch dressing, shredded cheddar cheese, venison jerky, and Cheesedogs. I thought the others might taste sort of funny, and the Cheesedogs will probably be my lunch, so I decided to go with just the shredded cheddar cheese. That's a big omelet, which means I needed lots of cheese. This being my first omelet, I didn't know that, so my first omelet ended up being big on eggs and light on cheese.

Okay, now I had to pour the eggs in the skillet and let them sizzle. Okay, you can start sizzling any time now. Uhhh... did I put too much egg in there? Is it going to burn the bottom while nothing else gets cooked? Ummm... uhhh... there's a big bubble forming. Should I pop it? Okay, I'll pop it. Ewww... now the popped bubble is throbbing like a heart... like the heart of the little unborn chicken that I'm about to consume. Ick. Eventually it all cooked. I threw the cheese on one half and turned the other half over the top. I let it sizzle a little more. Then I flipped it over. This isn't so hard... maybe I'll multitask. This is the point where I decided to throw toast in the toaster. Oh yeah, I'm about to be two-for-two today. Maybe it's time for that omelet to be done. I slid it off onto my plate, tossed the finished toast down next to it, poured a glass of milk. I kick ass.

The Assessment:
My omelet turned out okay. Next time I most definitely need a lot more stuff for inside the omelet, but as for the cooking of the eggs and all, that seemed to go pretty well. Maybe the ranch dressing and venison jerky will be pretty tasty.