1) Next year the HFPA needs to invest in a shepherd's crook. Drag those bastards off stage who don't know how to make short acceptance speeches.

2) Did that jackass who produced Chicago really need to stand up there wasting everyone's time doing an extended version of thanking all of the same people who had just been thanked moments earlier by both Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger? Thank you orchestra and producers for eventually just cutting him off.

3) Are Richard Gere and Julia Roberts that inseparable that he needed to make an acceptance speech that was basically the male equivalent of the speech and performance given by Julia when she won her Oscar?

4) Pedro Almodovar - you won the fucking award for best foreign language film in a category where any real competition was stifled so you could win since you're not going to win the Oscar. Get over it. Walk up, accept your award, say thank you, and sit your Spanish ass back down.

5) Jack Nicholson - right on as usual: Nicole Kidman obviously looks better with her own nose and I thought About Schmidt was a comedy also.

6) The producer of The Hours could have handled his speech much better also. I have no problem with the three female stars all coming up on stage, but couldn't he have planned for that and had them all come up together when he went up to accept the award? More wasting of my time.

7) Is John C. Reilly this year's Jim Broadbent? He's even in a musical with Nicole Kidman. Do I smell an Oscar nom for Best Supporting Actor for one of his roles on the horizon?

8) Were U2 and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" both completely surpise winners? Unlike everyone else who had very easy paths to the stage, Bono and The Edge and Larry David and his crew all had to pass through obstacle courses and find their way through the Labyrinth to get to stage.

9) Although I missed the first half hour because I was coming home from work, I have the feeling that Larry David still had the best acceptance speech of the night.

10) What was the deal with Dick Clark? Those recaps were just stupid and ill-prepared.

11) What the hell was Sharon Stone wearing? Did she lose a bet?

That is all. The countdown now starts to the Oscars.